


Four Letter Words

by cosmicbluue



Category: Good Omens (TV), Good Omens - Neil Gaiman & Terry Pratchett
Genre: Aziraphale Loves Crowley (Good Omens), Aziraphale and Crowley in Love (Good Omens), Binge Drinking, Complicated Relationships, Drinking, Drunk Aziraphale (Good Omens), Drunk Crowley (Good Omens), Eventual Romance, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Forbidden Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Almost Apocalypse (Good Omens), Romantic Comedy, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-28
Updated: 2019-09-05
Packaged: 2020-09-28 05:35:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,340
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20420777
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cosmicbluue/pseuds/cosmicbluue
Summary: Aziraphale and Crowley's respective employers are finally off their backs, for the time being, giving the two the opportunity to spend time together with no real consequences. After a night of drinking and a brief moment of intense closeness, Crowley wonders if he is ready to confront his feelings for Aziraphale.Can a demon truly be worthy of love, much less love someone else?





	1. His Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley and Aziraphale enjoy a relaxing night out with no consequences, or so they believe.

“Here, try this.”

“Eh…”

“Come now, Crowley. It’s quite good.”

Crowley shrugged and stuck a fork into the dessert Aziraphale was indulging in. He took a bite, chewing for an unusual amount of time while making a peculiar looking face.

“Well?” Aziraphale eagerly awaited.

“Angel do you like seafood?” Crowley asked, his words garbled.

“Crowley don’t you dare--!” Aziraphale winced as Crowley opened his mouth wide and stuck his tongue out at him. His tongue was covered in already chewed cake, and it was grossly staring Aziraphale right in the face.

“See, food!”

“For goodness sake, Crowley!” Aziraphale shot the demon a look of disgust before turning away. “That was repulsive. You’re repulsive.”

Crowley only laughed with food still rolling around in his unnecessarily wide-open trap.

“Would you stop playing with your food? Honestly.”

Crowley put a napkin to his mouth and spit the cake into it.

“You won’t even swallow it?”

“It’s too sweet for me. And you know I don’t really eat.”

“What a waste; that was perfectly good you know.”

Crowley sat the napkin on the table and snapped his fingers upward, turning the hunk of chewed up slop back into a perfectly good bite of cake.

“Here. Fixed it.” Crowley grinned and pushed the newly “healed” bite towards Aziraphale, who only stared at it for a moment before pushing it back towards Crowley.

"Well, now I don't want it, knowing it was pre-chewed like that.”

“Shouldn’t have made me eat then.” Crowley took a swig from his wine glass and leaned back in his chair. He flashed a playful smirk at Aziraphale.

Aziraphale rolled his eyes and sighed before returning the smile. “Just don’t let the waiter see you playing with your food.”

Crowley flashed another grin before finishing off his wine. He was a little strange sometimes, but that was the demon’s nature, and Aziraphale enjoyed spending time with him nonetheless. They had just finished an extravagant lunch, mostly to celebrate saving the world and having each of their overbearing bosses off of their backs; at least for the time being. After everything the duo had gone through, things seemed to finally fall into place. Everything felt at peace, and all felt right with the world. It had been a long time since Aziraphale had felt this way, and he wasn’t quick to rush the feeling away. Absolutely nothing could dampen this excellent evening.

Crowley stood up and stretched. “So, you ready?”

As the two departed the establishment, they had realized that they had spent a good deal of time dining, and it had already begun to turn dark. The moon was rising over bustling London, and the air felt cool and rather comforting.

"I suppose we spent more time at lunch than we thought." Aziraphale chuckled and glanced at Crowley.

“Looks like.” Crowley dug around inside his jacket and pulled out a cigarette case. “We ordered a lot this time.”

“It was excellent. And I think we rather deserved it.”

“Right. Indulge, that’s what I say!” Crowley slid the cigarette between his lips and lit up.

“It is nice though.” Aziraphale peered over the city, still beautifully lit and lively. “It’s almost hard to believe that all of this was nearly gone.”

“Forever.” Crowley added.

“Yes.” Aziraphale sighed with a hint of relief. “Forever. There is also the fact that—"

“What? That we’re in the clear?”

Aziraphale chuckled. “I suppose. For now, anyway. It’s honestly nice not to have to worry about work.”

Crowley exhaled with a smooth cloud of smoke escaping his lips. “Yeah. The micromanagement has been complete bullshit lately…” he glanced over at Aziraphale who met his gaze.

The two laughed simultaneously, both out of humor and relief, before quieting down again. They stood on the sidewalk, watching the cars zoom by and people walking past lit up bars and restaurants. Crowley took another drag of his cigarette.

“When did you take up smoking?” Aziraphale glanced at the cigarette between the demon’s fingers.

“Oh, uh…recently. Very recently.” Crowley shrugged. “You know, stress and whatnot.”

“Ah…”

“I mean, a cigarette after a few drinks is really good. Like, insanely good.” Crowley offered a drag to Aziraphale, of which he politely declined.

“Oh no! I’m quite alright, thank you.”

Crowley shrugged and continued looking out at the London streets. Aziraphale would occasionally glance over at Crowley and watch as he put the cigarette to his lips and drag it out smoothly before exhaling. Aziraphale honestly hated cigarettes and the smell of them but watching Crowley, it was almost elegant, at least the way he did it. Standing there in his all-black clothes and dark glasses, he looked quite attractive…cool even. Of course, he’d never tell him that, as Crowley would probably never stop teasing him after a comment like that. After a few moments of quietude between them, Aziraphale nervously pursed his lips and turned back to Crowley.

“I’m really in no hurry to get back to the shop. Would you like to walk for a bit?”

Crowley blinked from behind his dim glasses. “Walk?”

“Well yes. Night is young, you know.”

Most of their visits were usually brief, for fear of having the hammer come down on them from each of their respective bosses. For once in their lives, they had all the time in the world to spend together. It was true that Crowley had known Aziraphale for over 6,000 years and had spent a significant amount of time with him over the centuries. Despite this, Crowley felt himself feeling slightly tense, though he couldn't exactly pinpoint the reason. Perhaps it was everything that had been going on prior because all he wanted to do was spend more uninterrupted Aziraphale. 

Crowley took one final drag before putting out the cigarette. “Why not? It’s not like anyone is up our arses at the moment. The park then?”

Aziraphale brightly beamed at Crowley. “Yes, sounds lovely.”

Crowley felt himself nearly buckle at the knees as Aziraphale smiled at him. He swiftly turned his attention to the sidewalk ahead.

Damn angel.

Aziraphale and his cherubic smile; it was enough to light up an entire room. Or a building. Maybe the universe?

Damn angel.

The park was busy, full of couples walking along the pathways and children playing in the grass. There was a bright carousel ride set up full of small children and a man handing out colorful balloons from his pushcart. They decided to stop at an ice cream stand and get their usual treats.

“Thank you so very much.” Aziraphale handed the ice cream man some money before taking a lick from his vanilla cone. “Ah, it’s very good today! How is yours?”

Crowley turned to Aziraphale as he put the red lolly ice to his mouth, but was caught off guard when two children ran past him, chasing one another. One of the children accidentally smacked into the side of Crowley’s leg, causing him to stumble. The child quickly got back on his feet and continued to chase his mate, and Crowley checked to see if his frozen treat was okay.

“Did you see that?? Kid almost knocked my damn lolly!” he looked back at Aziraphale, who was covering his mouth tightly with his free hand.

“What?” Crowley raised an eyebrow.

Aziraphale only shook his head back and forth, followed by a loud snort.

Crowley put a hand to his hip and cocked his head at the angel. “What is so bloody funny?”

“Your nose.” Aziraphale tapped on his own nose.

Crowley only raised an eyebrow at him before putting two fingers to his nose. Upon further inspection, he discovered that his nose was smeared with red juice from the lolly ice. He looked at his frozen treat to see that it was, indeed, the juice from his lolly. He must have bumped his face as he was mid-lick when that kid ran into him.

Aziraphale continued to giggle softly.

“You know, it’s not that fuckin’ funny.” Crowley scowled as he felt his face go hot with embarrassment.

Aziraphale felt slightly guilty for laughing, but couldn’t help it. Crowley looked really adorable with that damned juice all over his face. He pulled a handkerchief from his coat pocket.

“Here, let me…” Aziraphale attempted to dab the demon’s nose.

Crowley, completely mortified, snatched the handkerchief out of Aziraphale’s hand.

“I’m not a child, I can get it myself.” Crowley turned away and wiped the juice from his nose.

“Are you sure? You looked like you may have been struggling with that lolly, Crowley.” Aziraphale teased. 

“Watch it, angel.”

“Do you need me to feed it to you?”

Crowley felt his face flush immensely and was this close to sticking his god damn head into the cold, cold lake.

“Piss off…” Crowley mumbled as he walked off; more annoyed and flustered than he cared to admit. Aziraphale chuckled once more as he attempted to catch up with him.

The two had finished their frozen treats and sat on a park bench at the edge of the lake. There were a couple of folks going by in pedal boats. A little ridiculous, at least to Crowley. Aziraphale seemed to enjoy watching. Crowley pulled a flask from his jacket pocket and took a swig before offering it to Aziraphale.

“Want a nip?”

“What is it?”

“Just Dalmore 12.”

Aziraphale accepted the flask and took a sip.

“Hm…” he smacked his lips. “Smooth.” He took another swig before handing the flask back to Crowley.

“You know, we should get a pedal boat one of these days.”

“Whaaat?” Crowley gives him a look. “I won’t be caught dead in one of those things.”

“Why not?”

“Because it looks ridiculous! Look at those people over there!” Crowley pointed to a couple pedaling in the distance. The boat was not actually going anywhere but was stuck going in a circle.

Aziraphale looked closer and saw that the couple was laughing. “Oh stop, they’re having a good time. Which proves my point.”

“Pfft. Can you really see me pedaling in that? With my legs?”

“What about your legs?”

“Long. Too tall!”

Aziraphale had burst into laughter after that unclear answer.

“I’m serious!” Crowley took another swig of scotch.

“I think you’d look quite nice on a pedal boat.” Aziraphale gently grabbed the flask back and took another shot. “Your legs are just fine.”

Crowley sighed heavily. Aziraphale had thrown him into a tizzy yet again. “You know, flattery will get you nowhere, angel.”

Aziraphale only rolled his eyes. “But can we please go one of these days? Oh, Crowley please?”

“Ugh!” Crowley snatched the flask back and the two sat quietly for a moment as they looked out over the water.

“…Please?” Aziraphale spoke up once more and Crowley sighed again.

“…Fine.” Crowley mumbled. “Anything else? Should I break out the khaki Chino’s and a blazer for our pedal boat outing?

“Chino’s would look nice on you.”

“Angel!”

Aziraphale let out another laugh before smiling sweetly at Crowley again. Aziraphale was laughing a lot that night. He legitimately seemed happier and more carefree than usual. Then again, they had both been drinking. Whatever the reason, Crowley liked seeing him smile.

“And another thing.” Crowley leaned back on the park bench, looking up the night sky. “When we do go, I get permission to bumper car slam into two other boats and make it look like an accident.”

“Crowley!”

“Gently then.” Crowley smirked and took one last swallow of booze. He frowned after the last sip and turned the flask upside. “Shit, it’s empty.”

“Pity.” Aziraphale shrugged and stood to his feet, then offered a hand to Crowley.

After Crowley stood to his feet, the two began to walk alongside the water. Crowley kept watching the peddlers. “So, are we going back to the shop or--?”

“Oh, Crowley look!” Aziraphale hastily grabbed Crowley’s hand and pointed to something across the way.

“What are you--?”

“The gardens are in bloom!” Aziraphale pointed to a small, gated area that was beautifully lit up. Plants and flowers of different varieties were visible, surrounded by trickling fountains and decorated with gently flickering string lights.

“Let’s take a look!”

“Really? Plants?”

"Well, I thought you rather enjoyed plants.”

“Somewhat?”

Aziraphale cocked his head gave the demon a look, all while still clutching his hand. Aziraphale’s hand was warm and soft, unlike his own, which seemed cold and callused; and now slightly clammy. Did Aziraphale even realize? Did he mean to hold his hand like this? Crowley shifted his gaze to their hands, as did Aziraphale, who now realized his actions. He let go of Crowley’s hand, slightly flustered.

“Oh my! I suppose I got a little too excited there. I’m feeling rather tipsy I think.”

“I noticed.” Crowley smirked at Aziraphale as he continued to gaze at the gardens. How could he say no to him now?

“Alright, alright. Let’s go.”

Aziraphale slipped a soft smile back at Crowley and the two began to head towards the garden.

“I love it when they set it up like this. Sometimes you find plants that you can only see during a certain time of year, and they make it so charming inside.”

As Aziraphale continued to talk excitedly, Crowley could not help but be completely enthralled by him. An angel by nature, he was made to love and be kind. Not only that, but he seemed to have been instilled with a rare amount of empathy; nothing like anything that Crowley had ever seen. Not in heaven, nor earth and certainly not in Hell. Even angels, especially the asshole higher-ups like Gabriel and Michael, were just so cold and straight forward. All business only. But Aziraphale, he was different. He always went out of the way to make a kind gesture, to try to understand what one was going through, to try to bring a little bit of light into a somewhat bleak and dismal world. He saw the beauty in literally everything, and though Crowley didn’t quite understand it sometimes, he did respect it.

Even for himself, the demon Crowley, Aziraphale could look past what he truly was. He always tried to see the good in him, even if Crowley couldn’t see it himself. For some reason, Aziraphale insisted on it. He smiled at him as he would smile at a beautiful creature, or the sky, or beautiful flowers, his books…

He smiled at Crowley as if he saw beauty; in himself, a demon. He wanted to ask Aziraphale why but could never bring himself to do it. If anyone was truly beautiful, though, it was Aziraphale, and only Aziraphale--body, mind, and soul. Heaven and Hell could do what they wanted to Crowley for all he cared, but touch Aziraphale…

Crowley didn’t want to think about what he would do if someone harmed his angel.

“Oh bugger!” Aziraphale sighed aloud.

Crowley blinked and looked ahead, realizing they had reached the garden’s gates. They were met with a rope blocking off the entrance, along with a little sign that was posted.

_Closed for a private event! We apologize for the inconvenience!_

“Ah.” Crowley glanced through the gateway. “Looks like a wedding reception. Something or other.”

Aziraphale sighed, somewhat disappointed. “Well, I suppose we can just head back then."

Crowley turned to Aziraphale and smirked. “Orrrr….”

Aziraphale looked at Crowley, somewhat bewildered. “What? What are you scheming?”

“We could just, you know…”

“Could what?”

“Crash it?” Crowley replied mischievously.

“What??” Aziraphale looked at the demon, completely appalled.

Crowley glided over to the rope and took the liberty of unhooking it himself. He pulled it aside for Aziraphale, as he raised his eyebrows mischievously.

Aziraphale paused and carefully scanned the area around them. “This is…” he looks back at Crowley, about to scold him for even having him consider this.

“This is completely rude and invasive you know!” Aziraphale whispered aloud.

“Well, if they didn’t want anyone coming in, they would have had a doorman or something, right?”

“I don’t know…” Aziraphale stood at the gate, still apprehensive.

“Even if someone does stop us, we just make up some bull story about how we are the groom’s second cousins twice removed or some shit. Weddings are stupid like that. You invite everyone, even people you barely know. It’s common.”

“That seems a little pointless if you ask me.”

“Not if you want more wedding gifts, friend.” Crowley smirked again as he continued to hold the rope to the side.

“…Fine.” Aziraphale relented. “But we are just going in to see the flowers, alright?”

“Okay angel, whatever you want.”

It was just as Crowley had predicted. The two had pretty much waltzed right in, not being noticed by anyone really. It was already late in the night, and many of the guests were too involved in the festivities to really notice two strangers walking in. That, or they were too inebriated to care.

Crowley nudged Aziraphale in the shoulder as he peered across to the special sitting area ahead.

“They have an open bar! Nice!”

“Open bar?” Aziraphale saw the barmen handing off drinks extremely quickly. “Fancy.”

Crowley and Aziraphale sat at the bar and began to order a couple of drinks. As the barman began to prepare their respective orders, Aziraphale couldn’t help but look around and admire the scenery. The plants were beautiful, yes, but the way it was decorated inside made it even more charming. There were dimly lit string lights hung all around, giving the atmosphere somewhat of a magical feel. The lights reflected off of the small ponds of water, and guests danced on the small, makeshift dancefloor. There was a separate alcove were food and drink were served, which was covered with a small awning and decorated with even more string lights. A simple band played a sort of soft jazz style of music, sometimes accompanied by a female singer. Not exactly Aziraphale’s favorite genre of music, but it was a pleasant sound that fit the venue's ambiance nonetheless.

“Good evening, gentleman.” Crowley and Aziraphale turned to be greeted by a smiling waitress holding a tray. “Shrimp gruyere puff?”

“Oh!” Aziraphale looked at the tray with surprise. “Why thank you!” he happily took a refreshment, as did Crowley.

“Oh…wow…this is so scrummy!” Aziraphale let out a sigh of delight.

Crowley had rested his chin in his hand, slightly covering his smile as he watched Aziraphale enjoy the food. Crowley plopped his own refreshment onto Aziraphale’s napkin.

“Have mine. I don’t want it.”

“Why thank you! Don’t mind if I do!” Aziraphale happily accepted another delicious puff.

The two sat for a while, sipping on alcohol and Aziraphale enjoying more of the fancy foods that were being passed around.

“This is some primo stuff they’re handing out.” Crowley took another sip from his glass. "Open bar with top-shelf booze. Fancy food. Aren't you happy we crashed?"

“Shhhh…!” Aziraphale put a finger to his lips before indulging in another piece of calamari. “I don’t want to get kicked out just yet…”

“Oho! Aziraphale enjoying the crime. I like this side of you.”

“Oh, stop that! It’s not a crime. And people don’t seem to mind that we are here.”

“They’re all too piss drunk to notice the fancy-looking, white-haired man and—"

“The delinquent in black wearing shades indoors at night.”

“Exactly!” Crowley raised his glass to his lips.

Aziraphale only chuckled and shrugged before taking another sip of wine. “Crowley?”

“Hm?”

“Do you suppose one of these families is, well…”

"What? Loaded? Oh, no doubt."

“See I was thinking the same thing! This is all so extravagant. Do you suppose that…”

“Bride or groom’s family has money? And one of them is marrying the other for the money?”

“Well, more or less…”

“Oh yeah.” Crowley threw back another drink and set down an empty glass. 

“That’s a little sad.”

“Eh, it’s the way of the world, angel. People value security and comfort over anything else, really. If anything, marriage is more like a business transaction. Honestly, it’s been like that for ages.”

“Hm…” Aziraphale swirled the wine around in his glass for a moment before taking another sip. “Certainly not all humans think that way. I do know that.”

Crowley looked at Aziraphale, realizing that the conversation was upsetting him, even if he wasn’t truly expressing that it was.

Crowley sighed.

"You're right, angel. Of course they all don’t think the same. Some people actually like each other enough to be stuck together forever.”

“Pretty amazing I think.”

Crowley turned to Aziraphale, who was still looking at his glass, smiling softly. 

“I guess…” Crowley shrugged.

Aziraphale took the last swallow of his wine before looking out at the few guests dancing. He decided to change the subject. “It ended up being a nice night, wouldn’t you agree?”

“Hm? Oh, yeah. Free booze. Pedal boat talk. Good shit.”

“Honestly, this is…well, such a relief to me.”

Crowley turned his attention back to Aziraphale. “How do you mean?”

“I mean, we’re still here, Crowley. This world is still here. I’m just…” He paused before turning to Crowley. “I’m just so happy.”

The band started up a new and upbeat song, and Aziraphale swiftly stood up.

“Where are you going?” Crowley looked up at him.

“I think I’d like to dance.” Aziraphale looked out at dancefloor. “It’s been quite a while.”

“Go for it.” Crowley reached for the newly filled glass that had been placed in front of him. He took a swift drink before turning back to Aziraphale, who was out of sight. Crowley turned towards the dance floor, and there he was. Out there dancing a dance that had long been out of style. He looked like a complete lunatic, and Crowley honestly believed he had scared a few couples off of the dance floor. He raised his glass to his lips again, trying to stifle a grin. A laugh. He took another drink.

Aziraphale did look happy, more like the happiest Crowley had seen him in centuries. He continued dancing, and looked across the way, catching Crowley in his gaze. Aziraphale smiled at him, looking radiant as ever. Crowley wasn't sure if it was because he's an angel, and just naturally brightened up the atmosphere, or if it was the ambiance of the place. Whatever it was, Crowley felt it strongly as Aziraphale smiled at him. He really was happy, and seeing that alone made Crowley relieved. If anything, Aziraphale deserved to be happy on this earth, even more so than himself, or any human on it.

Crowley returned to drinking as Aziraphale danced. At some point, the angel had stride back over to the bar. He held his hand out to him.

“Shall we cut a rug?” Aziraphale continued to smile brightly.

Meanwhile, Crowley nearly choked on his liquor mid-swallow, a little taken aback by Aziraphale’s indirect request. And also, that ‘cut a rug’ thing.

Crowley often found it difficult to deny Aziraphale anything, especially when he smiled at him like that. His insides were all twisted up and screaming, and the unwanted heat spread to his face once more. He only continued to stare at Aziraphale’s outstretched hand, wanting to take it, but just couldn’t.

No, no way. Things were getting far too intense for him; all of this.

Crowley looked back up at the angel and let out an exasperated huff, before getting up from his barstool and walking off.

Aziraphale slowly lowered his hand that was still raised and watched Crowley walk away from him.

“Crowley…?” Aziraphale spoke his name softly.

Did he do something wrong?

Aziraphale waited at the bar, silently sipping on wine and listening to the band play. Surely Crowley didn't just leave without saying goodbye. Aziraphale couldn't help but think he had done or said something to upset him. After a couple of songs played, Aziraphale was ready to call it a night. He was still concerned about Crowley and even thought to go look for him. Before he stood up from his seat, he saw someone in black take a seat next to him out of the corner of his eye.

It was Crowley. He had come back, just as Aziraphale had hoped he would. The demon placed two glasses he had been carrying on the bar in front of them.

“Where have you been?” Aziraphale spoke up.

“Huh? Oh, I went out to smoke.”

“Oh…that’s all?”

Crowley glanced at Aziraphale and raised an eyebrow before speaking slowly. “Yesss, that’s all.”

“Sorry, I was worried about you.”

“Pfft!”

“Really, I thought I had done something wrong.”

“Well, you didn’t. So, stop making a damn fuss about it.”

It wasn’t exactly a lie; Crowley had gone out to smoke. And he had anxiously puffed away half the pack of cigarettes in only minutes. He had to find his bearings before going back inside. Before being near Aziraphale again anyway...

“Here, try that.” Crowley handed Aziraphale one of the glasses he brought back, hoping to change the subject.

Aziraphale sighed. If something was wrong with Crowley, he knew it was best not to try and pry it out of him. That much he definitely knew. He took a sip, immediately followed by a face full of delight.

“My! That’s delightful! Champagne?”

“Prosecco.”

“Oh!” Aziraphale took another sip as Crowley smiled, though Aziraphale didn’t see him.

“Thought you’d like it.”

They sipped on their last drinks, watching people as they began to filter out. The band was replaced with music from the radio as the staff began to clean up. A roll of thunder could be heard outside in the distance, followed by an annoyed sigh from Crowley.

“Ah, what? Was it supposed to rain tonight?”

“I surely don’t know, dear.” Aziraphale took another sip of alcohol.

“You’re fuckin’ drunk.”

“Well, so are you.”

“Yes, yes I am.”

“Well, bother. We can’t walk in the rain like this!” Aziraphale pouted.

“I’ll just get the Bentley over here, not a big deal.”

“You can’t drive like this.”

“I so can!”

“Crowley!”

The radio had suddenly increased in volume, and Crowley annoyingly glanced at Aziraphale. "You think that's code for 'get the fuck out of here'?" Crowley threw back the rest of his drink.

“I believe it might be.” Aziraphale shrugged.

Lightning flashed across the sky as a loud roll of thunder followed, but no rain had fallen yet. It was late, and the streets weren’t too busy. The Bentley zoomed past whatever cars were on the road, with Crowley driving absentmindedly as usual. Crowley tapped on the steering wheel as typical Queen blasted through the speakers. Aziraphale held on for dear life, as usual. He glanced over at Crowley, who was singing into his long-empty flask like it was a microphone. Aziraphale smiled before turning his attention back to the road they were racing down.

“Crowley…Crowley!!! RED LIGHT!!!”

“I see it! For fuck’s sake….” Crowley slowed down almost too abruptly.

Aziraphale should have been used to his reckless driving by now, but he wasn't. He sighed heavily, glancing at Crowley's hand, seemingly clenched tightly over the steering wheel. Aziraphale gently rested his hand over Crowley's, prompting the demon to look over at Aziraphale.

“Slow down.” Aziraphale spoke gently as he looked at Crowley. His eyes were filled with worry, and Crowley could feel it was more directed towards him more than anything.

The next song began to play over the speakers, with soft piano filling the car and soothing vocals coming from the beloved Freddy Mercury.

_Love of my life, can't you see? Bring it back, bring it back. Don't take it away from me, because you don't know…What it means to me…_

Crowley quickly slid his hand out from under Aziraphale’s and pressed violently on the radio buttons, in a desperate attempt to change the song.

“Are you alright?” Aziraphale gave him a peculiar look.

“Yep! Just hate that song is all!” Crowley’s voice slightly squeaked as he finally switched the track over to a loud and upbeat song. “There we go! Fixed it!”

“Fixed…?”

“FIXED IT!” Crowley hit the gas immediately as the light turned green.

“What in the world…???” Aziraphale gasped under his breath as he held on for dear life yet again, confused as ever.

With as fast as Crowley was driving, it didn’t take very long to get to Aziraphale’s bookshop. Crowley stopped a tad too abruptly, parking halfway on the curb. He turned the car off as Aziraphale swung the passenger door open and stumbled out with his hand on his chest. He looked relieved to be out of the car and back on the ground.

“Crowley!!”

“What??” Crowley asked, an annoyance in his voice. He was rummaging around in the back seat for something.

“Your blasted driving, that’s what! For fuck’s sake…” Aziraphale muttered the last part.

Crowley stepped out of the car holding a brown paper bag, now grinning out of pure amusement.

“I’m sorry, for what sake??” Crowley playfully put a hand to his ear.

Aziraphale looked embarrassed, but only briefly. “You didn’t hear that.”

“Oh, but I did!”

Aziraphale stumbled over the curb, nearly tripping as he went. Crowley grabbed his arm and helped him find his balance. "Shit, you're fuckin' drunk." Crowley began to cackle. 

“Not as drunk as you…you…you ass.”

“Oho, you’re so mean tonight, angel.”

“I am not mean! WHERE is my blasted key??” Aziraphale kept rummaging through his pockets.

"Angel, in your hand." Crowley cocked his head towards Aziraphale's left hand. He had been holding the shop key the entire time.

“Oh! Thank you, Crowley!”

“Yup.”

Raindrops began to sprinkle onto the sidewalk as Aziraphale fumbled with getting the key into the lock.

“Ahhh hurry! It’s bloody raining!”

“I can see that!” Aziraphale sighed and finally got the door to unlock. “Well bother, I need to get that lock checked. It’s never stuck like that before…”

The two stumbled into the shop and Aziraphale closed the door behind them. He let out a sigh of relief as he turned on some lights; comfortably dim as always. He was happy to be home and surrounded by the things he cared for most. Walls of books, scrummy snacks, an assortment of teas, and…

“Where’s the…ooof! FUCKKKK.”

Aziraphale heard a slight crash and glanced over at Crowley, who had drunkenly walked into a table. He looked back at Aziraphale and attempted to finish his sentence. “Wine glasses??”

And Crowley.

Aziraphale chuckled to himself before responding. “Upstairs, Crowley! Remember?”

“Right right right…” Crowley headed to the stairwell.

They had successfully made it up the stairs without falling down. Crowley found the wine glasses and removed a bottle from the paper sack he had been carrying.

“What did you get?” Aziraphale asked.

“That prosecco we had earlier.” Crowley popped the bottle open and poured them each a glass.

“When did you get that?”

“Oh, before we left. I managed to talk the barman into letting me buy one.” He smirked. “You’re welcome.” He handed Aziraphale a glass.

“And thank you.” Aziraphale grinned as the two clinked their glasses.

An hour had passed and the rain was falling heavily onto the book shop's roof. Thunder rolled in the distance, but it was nothing violent. If anything, it was the perfect weather to stay in at night. It was almost soothing against the classical music Aziraphale had put on the record player earlier. The bottle of alcohol did not last long between the two, leaving them both even more inebriated than before. Crowley sat on the floor, slumped against the sofa with the now empty bottle of prosecco in his hand.

“And it just stares at me you know…and like, I feel bad for it almost? Because it’s stuck in a tank and it’s waiting to be eaten like…angel, can you imagine waiting to be eaten??”

“Oh, that sounds so dreadful…”

“Right. So, I take the guy out of the tank and I take him to the dock, right?”

“You took a lobster from a-a restaurant?? Oh, you’re in trouble.” Aziraphale sang aloud.

"Okay well, I was gone before they could do anything right? ANY WAY, I take ol' snappy to the dock and I take off those blasted rubber bands. And put him back in the water.”

“Ah, you did, didn’t you?”

“Mm. I said BE FREE! LIVE!” Crowley nearly toppled over but caught himself before sitting up somewhat straight again.

“You do realize you saved that creature’s life, right?”

Crowley didn’t even have to look at Aziraphale to know he was smiling proudly at him. He could hear it in his voice, with just a hint of teasing to follow.

“Oh, for Satan’s sake; it was just a damn lobster. Don’t read too much into it…” Crowley mumbled before leaning his head back against the sofa. He lifted his glasses to sneak a peek at Aziraphale, who sat cross-legged on the sofa. He was holding a large, ancient-looking paper in front of his face that looked as if it had been previously folded over many times.

“What is that, angel?”

“Oh! It’s a star chart.”

“Ah.”

Aziraphale uncrossed his legs and wriggled his way off of the sofa, sliding onto the floor next to Crowley.

“There we are!” He sat next to Crowley with his legs out, their socked feet nearly touching as he attempted to get comfy in his new spot. He opened the star map again and inched closer to Crowley so he could show him.

“Oh, a star map! I was lost for a second…” Crowley squinted at the map.

“It’s the same thing, really.”

“If you say so.”

“You know, I’ve been to so many places, and the night sky looks different depending on where you are.”

“True.”

“I’ve always enjoyed looking at the stars, you know, where they are bright and abundant. Something we don’t really get here.”

“In London? Oh hell no. City is too bright.”

“Too much light pollution, yes…”

“Perhaps we could go out to the country one of these days. You know, away from everything. We can watch the night sky…the stars.”

“The country?” Crowley raised an eyebrow. “There are plenty of better places to see the stars you know.”

“I meant like a trip. Maybe we could drive.”

“Oh…right.” Crowley began to feel himself get slightly on edge again. It seemed to come in weird spurts the entire night, and it was getting exhausting. Despite this, he tried to keep a handle on it best he could.

“Are you sure you’d want to drive? You hate my driving.”

“I do. So, work on slowing it down a bit.” Aziraphale smiled at him, yet again flustering the demon.

Aziraphale looked back at the star map. “There is supposed to be a big meteor shower next month and you can see it best in certain locations, obviously the ones that have less light pollution are best. So, I was thinking that…”

Crowley kept his gaze on Aziraphale, not saying anything really. He just listened as Aziraphale went on about meteor showers and stars and whatnot. There it was again; Aziraphale’s ability to find the beauty in everything. It was so fascinating to Crowley, as those type of things bewildered him. Even Aziraphale’s comment about Crowley putting the lobster back into the ocean made him think too much about the reasons why he did it. It just simply wasn’t in his nature to be this way, and he wasn’t, but every so often he did act it. That was probably what confused him the most. Perhaps that was why he never seemed to fit in with the others. Whether he was among demons or angels, he never seemed to lean too much to either side. He did his job accordingly regardless; for the most part anyway.

And then there was Aziraphale.

Aziraphale…

He was a completely different story. He had known the angel practically forever now. The relationship was complicated at best, but Crowley couldn’t help but wonder if it wasn’t for each of their own workplaces…well, maybe their relationship would have been different? Crowley had grown extremely fond of the angel over the centuries. If he had his way, he would probably never leave Aziraphale’s side.

Crowley swallowed hard as the thought crossed his mind. He kept his gaze on Aziraphale as he continued to drunkenly talk on. Aziraphale never seemed to care what Crowley was. He chastised him sometimes, yes; but obviously, they were from two different worlds with different ways of doing things. Aside from that, Aziraphale treated him as his equal, never a lesser. Crowley exhaled, letting out a shaky breath. He thinks back to the night they just had. He thinks about how many times Aziraphale smiled at him, or took his hand, both intentionally or otherwise. It was nice…but things never stayed nice for Crowley for long, so he normally tried not to enjoy it too much. It was difficult though because he always enjoyed being with Aziraphale.

He was his best friend, but Crowley had begun to realize, after the series of events that took place, that he was feeling something a lot stronger. He was beginning to wonder if he had always felt this way, and just blocked it out every time. Whenever he thought of being without Aziraphale, Crowley’s heart wrenched and twisted into a type of pain he never wanted to feel again. The same pain he felt as he watched Aziraphale’s bookshop burn, thinking that he was gone forever. The weight he felt from all of these things was sometimes too much for Crowley to bear. He could barely understand feelings of love himself; how was he possibly supposed to express it to someone else?

Maybe that’s what that feeling was. That warmth that naturally emitted from Aziraphale…

Love.

“Crowley? Hello?”

The demon blinked, pulling himself out of his deeply dug trench of thought and back to reality once more. Crowley glanced down at his knee, seeing Aziraphale’s hand over his yet again, still emitting that same warmth. He shifted his attention back to the angel, who had cocked his head in worry.

“Are you alright?” Aziraphale asked.

“Yeah…” Crowley mumbled and nodded swiftly in response.

“I was going on again, wasn’t I? I apologize.” Aziraphale chuckled nervously as he removed his hand from Crowley’s.

Fuck. Cold again.

“Don’t worry about it, angel. You tend to talk a lot about things you seem to love.” Crowley removed his glasses fully for the first time all night. He pulled a small cloth from his pocket and began to wipe the lenses down.

“I suppose that’s true.” Aziraphale agreed.

“I mean, you’re an angel, so I guess that counts for everything then, huh?”

“How do you mean?” Aziraphale looked at him with a bit of uncertainty in his eyes.

Crowley continued to clean his glasses. “You sort of have to love everything because you’re an angel. Isn’t that how it goes?” Crowley glanced up from his cleaning, flashing a teasing grin.

Aziraphale felt a slight hitch in his chest as Crowley smiled at him. He had such beautiful eyes…

The angel inched closer, now closing most of the space between them, causing Crowley to freeze in place. Aziraphale was really close. Why was he so close? 

Aziraphale leaned his head to the side, resting it on the sofa cushion behind them, just looking into Crowley’s eyes and smiling gently.

“Yes…I suppose it’s something like that.” he replied softly.

Crowley wasn't quite sure when it happened. Maybe he was too drunk to tell. He did, however, remember his glasses slipping from his hands and clattering to the floor between his legs as Aziraphale’s lips touched his. Crowley was frozen; he couldn’t move. He couldn’t speak. Perhaps he didn’t want to. He closed his eyes and let Aziraphale kiss him.

His mouth was soft. Sweet. Warm…

Crowley felt the blood rushing to his face, the heat spreading from his cheeks to the tips of his ears. There was a feeling of absolute ecstasy as his blood raced, his heart pulsating so hard that he was sure his chest would bust wide open. This feeling was new; incredibly different from the hand holding or bodies grazing. Different than a loving smile on him; perhaps that magnified by a thousand.

No; this was absolutely sublime, and there was no other way to describe it. 

Crowley felt an immense amount of softness and warmth from Aziraphale as he held the kiss passionately in place. He tasted so sweet, so good. It was almost addicting, and Crowley only wanted more. As good as it felt, however, it was far too intense for him to bear, and he immediately broke away.

Aziraphale felt Crowley tear himself away from him, much to his dismay. The angel opened his eyes, with his lips still slightly parted, wondering what had happened. There was a gap between them once more. Crowley only stared back at the angel; his face flushed with crimson and his mesmerizing golden-yellow eyes filled with both passion and confusion.

“Aziraphale…?” Crowley struggled to find his words. He frantically felt around for his glasses, feeling too overexposed now, but couldn't escape Aziraphale's gaze. It wasn't until Aziraphale gently rested his hand on Crowley again, and made him go still. Aziraphale had picked up Crowley’s glasses and gently placed the dark lenses on Crowley’s face. He kept them slightly tilted so he could still look his demon in the eyes. 

“Crowley…” he spoke softly. “I…”

“You…what?” Crowley spoke slowly with caution.

“I love you.”

There was a stillness that fell around both of them, blocking out any other outside noise. It was just Crowley and Aziraphale and those three words. Crowley said nothing, responding only with a shaky exhale. And then a brief moment passed, a sudden loud pop and Crowley disappeared into a cloud of mystical smoke.

Aziraphale blinked. He knew he was still intoxicated, but he could not comprehend what in the world just happened. The smoke dissipated and Crowley was nowhere in sight.

“C-Crowley??” Aziraphale called out, frantically looking about. He then felt something cold slither over his hand and he knew. He looked down and there Crowley was; he had transformed into his snake form. He laid partially on the floor with his tiny head in Aziraphale’s lap; his glasses laid right beside him.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale hesitantly touched the demon’s scaly body, but Crowley made no further reaction. He was sleeping, knocked out cold from all of the alcohol they had consumed that night. They had not paced themselves, nor had he ever stopped to sober up once.

Aziraphale sighed and picked up Crowley, and then gently laid him on the sofa. He angel looked at him, his face still flushed and eyes full of worry.

“Oh Crowley…”


	2. The Heart of a Demon

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Crowley struggles with expressing his feelings of love for Aziraphale. Meanwhile, Aziraphale wonders if confessing to Crowley was the right thing to do.

_“You’re so foolish, Crawly.”_

_“Look at you; a pathetic excuse for a demon.”_

_“Do you truly think this is over?”_

_“Stupid, stupid serpent.”_

_“As if you are possibly capable of anything aside from evil and destruction.”_

_“Go on with your little perfect earthly lifestyle, darling.”_

_ “You’ll be dead soon enough. And your beloved angel too.”_

Crowley bolted upright, letting out a sharp gasp. His chest heaved uncontrollably as he tightly gripped the cushion beneath him with a shaky hand. His mind raced as he tried to separate what was really happening and what wasn’t. He didn’t regularly get night terrors as much as these days, but they seemed to increase after recent events. Voices echoed around in his head. He wasn’t even sure who they belonged to at this point. Hastur? Beelzebub? Satan himself? He didn’t even know anymore. All he felt was hatred and blood lust heavily directed towards him, and he didn’t like it one bit.

“Find your fucking bearings damn it…!” he growled under his breath. Gradually, the demon’s breathing began to steady, and his body relaxed. Thunder rumbled outside, at a distance, but the rain continued to fall heavily on the roof of the building. Crowley looked up from his lap and realized he wasn’t home, but still at Aziraphale’s shop.

He had never gone home last night.

He must have passed out on Aziraphale’s sofa and didn’t bother to wake him. A sharp pain throbbed inside his head and he groaned aloud. He hadn’t sobered up last night either. Crowley wanted to kick himself for this. He didn’t even remember the last time he suffered from a hangover. He pulled back the blanket, assuming Aziraphale had draped it over him at some point in the night and swung his legs over the side of the sofa. He scanned the room before spotting his belongings on the small table beside the sofa. His phone and glasses were gingerly set beside one another. His jacket wasn’t in sight; it was likely downstairs on the coat rack. Crowley grabbed his phone first, wondering what time of the day it actually was.

9:06 am.

“Ugh…” he rolled his eyes. That was too early for his taste. He glanced out the window ahead, He wouldn’t have even thought it morning with how dark the rain clouds made it look outside. And of course, it was still pouring from the night before. He sighed heavily and reached for his glasses before noticing a folded piece of paper that had been sitting under his phone. He raised an eyebrow and picked it up, unfolding it carefully.

_Had to see a man about a book. I didn’t want to wake you. _

_Sleep as long as you like._

_-Aziraphale_

Crowley only stared at the note for a second before folding it back up and placing it next to his glasses again, with his phone atop it. His head felt heavy, and the weather was shitty, making him feel even worse. He was all for doom and gloom but wet and cold still didn’t sit well with him being a snake demon after all. Not to mention the damn nightmare he just jolted awake from. All he wanted to do was sleep and not think about anything. Not right now anyway.

_“Crowley…I...”_

_“You…what?”_

_“I love you.”_

Crowley shut his eyes tight and groaned aloud.

Nope. Not now.

He tore his shirt off in a frustrated matter; it was soaked in sweat from earlier anyway. He fell back onto the sofa and pulled the blanket over him. It wasn’t time to wake up. He just wanted to sleep.

He would deal with it all when it was time to wake up…

It was a little after lunchtime when Aziraphale returned to his shop. He had run a couple of errands and gotten some lunch before returning. Luckily there was finally a break in the rain that had been falling steadily since last night. He turned the lights on and removed his coat. As he went to hang it on the rack, he noticed Crowley’s jacket still hanging from one of the hooks. Aziraphale glanced toward the staircase, wondering if Crowley was still there or if he simply forgot his jacket. The Bentley wasn’t parked outside, but that didn’t mean anything. Aziraphale made his way to the staircase and called out.

“Crowley? Are you up there?”

He received no response, but he called out again anyway; slightly louder the second time.

“Crowley?”

Aziraphale heard a faint and unintelligible mutter in response. Crowley was still upstairs. Aziraphale began to climb the staircase. He knew Crowley didn’t sober up last night and passed out, even after transforming into a snake no less. It had also been chilly and rainy and knew Crowley didn’t do so well in this type of weather, so it was best to check on him for many reasons. It was still dark upstairs, so Aziraphale turned on one of the dim lamps. He glanced over at the sofa and spotted a lump under a blanket with just a few tufts of red hair poking out the top.

“Crowley?” Aziraphale spoke softly. He crossed the room and stood over the sofa. Aziraphale slowly pulled back the blanket, but only slightly. Crowley was sleeping soundly, hugging the pillow his head was resting on with one arm. Tufts of red hair stood every which way, and Aziraphale was sure he had never seen it look so messy and out of place. Aziraphale didn’t understand why Crowley slept, as they had no need for sleep. He only knew that it was one of Crowley’s favorite earthly things to indulge in, and he couldn’t fault him on that. He smiled softly at the snoozing demon and gently pulled the blanket back over him. Crowley look so peaceful when he slept, and Aziraphale didn’t want to disrupt that. He walked over to the other end of the room and sat in a single chair, ready to do some reading. He did say Crowley could sleep as long as he wanted to after all.

As Aziraphale read, he would occasionally glance up at the sofa. Crowley continued to sleep soundly. Their previous had night ended abruptly. They had gotten a little too close, and Aziraphale, caught up in the moment, and with a little too much drink in him, had told Crowley what he was feeling.

Aziraphale sighed.

Oh, what a mess he had made of all of this. It was most certainly not the right time or place to confess those things to Crowley. And now he wasn’t even sure what Crowley thought of it. It was true that they both were close. They had been friends for over six thousand years, for goodness sake. But what about everything else? Surely there was more between them than just…

Aziraphale turned the page in his book.

Crowley could be stubborn. He was definitely bad at expressing what he truly meant when he talked. If something was bothering him, he’d sit on it for a while before bringing it up later out of nowhere. But one thing was certain, Crowley had constantly expressed his want to spend time with Aziraphale. His want to be at his side. His want to…go off together.

There were times where Aziraphale just brushed it off, not even giving it a second thought just because of who they were and where they came from. He had even gotten stern with Crowley, scolding him for even suggesting such things. After the events of the past week, Aziraphale began to realize that Crowley had always been there, even if Aziraphale hadn’t fully deserved it.

It was Aziraphale who didn’t want to see it, mostly due to his own duties as an angel. A principality no less. He had already screwed up by being dragged into Crowley’s charm from the literal beginning of it all. The more he hung around Crowley, the more he began to tolerate him being there, or rather, liked him being there. Even when they would get into a fight and not speak for a few decades, they always seemed to find their way back to one another. Aziraphale had grown very accustomed not only to his life on earth but his friendship with Crowley.

And Crowley…he had more than proven himself time and time again to Aziraphale. If Aziraphale was ever in trouble, Crowley somehow knew and was always there. And yet Aziraphale continued to say things to him…horrible things. He didn’t realize they were horrible then, but looking back on it, they weren’t very good things. He would pull the demon card consistently, always accusing Crowley of being up to no good. It wasn’t entirely Aziraphale’s fault, as angels are taught from the beginning that demons are the enemy. They were rebellious creatures that chose to fall from grace and deserved nothing more than to rot in Hell.

Aziraphale didn’t want to admit it at the time. He didn’t want to admit that he truly enjoyed spending time with Crowley. Every time they ran into each other, or Crowley showed up, Aziraphale would light up. But what a contradiction to everything he was ever taught to do.

And now, here they were, renegades. They had no idea what the future would hold for both of them, or how long they would have this freedom until heaven and hell came after them again. Aziraphale only knew that for once in his life, after the last week of literal hell, he knew what he had to lose. And he didn’t want to lose it ever. He wanted to hold onto it for as long as he could, and this time, he did not want to take it for granted. Not his bookshop, his favorite places to eat…

He glanced up at the sofa again. Crowley had shifted, but still remained burrowed under the blanket, keeping warm.

Crowley.

Aziraphale never wanted to take him for granted again. He stood up and set his book down, ready for a cup of cocoa. He wasn’t sure if it was the right thing to express how he felt to Crowley last night. The only thing he could hope for was that he and Crowley could talk it out. Because Aziraphale couldn’t take those words back even if he wanted to. He really did love Crowley, and the last thing he wanted to do was go back on that.

Aziraphale had prepared some cocoa for himself and took a seat at his desk. He was attempting to go through a few papers he had found, as it was starting to become a little unkempt around the work area. He had only been sorting through them for a few minutes before realizing he had left the new addition to his book collection upstairs. He climbed the staircase once more and grabbed the book he left sitting on the chair. As he picked up the book, he heard the sofa creak slightly behind him, followed by a soft groan. Aziraphale turned back towards the sofa, seeing Crowley sitting up; sleepy-eyed with tufts of hair everywhere.

Aziraphale had to stifle a smile. Crowley’s bedhead was really adorable, but making a comment about it would only wound the demon up, and now wasn’t the time.

“Ah, you’re finally awake,” Aziraphale spoke up.

Crowley blinked and glanced toward the angel, looking over his shoulder and out the window.

“Fuck, what time is it?” he answered drowsily.

“Oh! Well, it’s…” Aziraphale pulled out his pocket watch and took a brief glance. “…about a quarter past three.”

“Is it still raining?”

“No. I mean, it looks as though it might rain again, but for now, we have a slight break.” Aziraphale slipped his watch back into his waistcoat pocket.

“Mm…okay.” Crowley pulled the blanket back and swiftly hopped up and raised his arms towards the ceiling in a long stretch.

Aziraphale had noticed that Crowley was only wearing his pants and socks. He clutched the book he was holding against his chest, feeling slightly bashful about seeing Crowley shirtless like that. He glanced off towards the side as Crowley went on the hunt for his discarded shirt.

“Did you, um, sleep well?” Aziraphale tried to shake the bashfulness.

Crowley found his shirt on the floor, halfway underneath the sofa where he had previously tossed it. It smelled gross. He shrugged and pulled it over his head regardless.

“Oh…” Crowley picked up his phone and glanced at it. “It doesn’t look it but that sofa is pretty comfortable.”

“Well, I’m glad it was comfortable enough for you.” Aziraphale looked up again, and the two exchanged awkward glances.

“Crowley, are you feeling alright today?”

“What do you mean?”

“You slept for an awfully long time…”

“Psh! That was not a long time at all.”

Aziraphale only flashed him a concerned look.

“Hey don’t give me that look. I just drank a little too much last night…I think.”

“Yes, you didn’t sober up and then you, well…”

“I know.” Crowley cut him off before he could mention the rest.

An awkward silence fell over the room as the too broke eye contact.

“Crowley, about last night…” Aziraphale looked back up at Crowley, who was already heading for the stairs.

“Sorry Aziraphale, I gotta head out.”

“What? Why so quickly?”

“I uh, have a prior engagement.” Crowley headed down the stairs with a puzzled Aziraphale following close behind.

“So late in the day?”

“Just getting the Bentley detailed; that’s all.”

Aziraphale cocked his head at Crowley as he grabbed his jacket off the coat rack and tossed it over his shoulders. Crowley never let anyone touch his Bentley, so that already didn’t sound right. Before he knew it, Crowley was already heading out the door. Aziraphale quickly snapped out of it and went after Crowley, gently grabbing his hand before he could walk completely out the door. Crowley felt an immense amount of warmth run through his hand that washed over him once again. Crowley sighed and stopped, turning back to face Aziraphale. Aziraphale was staring back at him, his eyes full of worry.

“Crowley…”

“Yes…?”

“Did I…I mean, I hope I didn’t do anything too forward last night.”

“Oh…uh…”

“What I mean to say is…well, I didn’t do anything to upset you did I?”

Crowley only looked at him. He looked so worried and unsure. The right thing to do would be to talk it out, right? Reassure Aziraphale that everything was okay. Tell him that it’s not his fault for anything, but Crowley’s. It wasn’t Aziraphale’s fault that Crowley didn’t know how to be…well…

Crowley only sighed and slowly took his hand back. He placed his dark glasses back over his eyes and looked at the angel once more.

“Don’t worry about it. I don’t remember much from last night anyway.”

Aziraphale only blinked, and Crowley could see the slight twinge of hurt that crossed the angel’s face. He couldn’t bear it and turned his back to him.

“Nothing…at all?” Aziraphale asked softly.

“…Nope. Mostly a blur really.”

“Oh…”

It didn’t do much to turn away from Aziraphale. He could hear the disappointment in his voice. He had to get out of there.

“I have to go. I’ll call you, alright?”

“Yes…alright.”

And with that, Crowley headed out the door, letting it close behind him.

He was gone.

Aziraphale stood at the door for a brief moment before heading back to his desk. He glanced at his cup, now full of chilled cocoa, as he heard the raindrops falling outside again.

“Why did he lie to me?”

A whole day went by, and there was no call from Crowley. Normally Aziraphale didn’t fret about things like that, especially since he and Crowley’s relationship had been inconsistent for so long. However, the dynamic had changed. Aziraphale had confessed his feelings to the demon. He was a little less than graceful about it, but he didn’t think that it would end up like this. Aziraphale tried his best not to dwell on it; it had only been one day after all.

One day had gradually turned into two; and though Aziraphale went on with his day like normal, he found himself constantly glancing at the phone whenever he walked by it. At one point he contemplated on picking up the phone and calling Crowley himself, mostly out of worry and wanting to know that he was okay. He decided against it and tried to convince himself that things were not as bad as he was making them out to be.

It didn’t work.

It was day three, and it was nearly over. Aziraphale would have been lying to himself if he denied being upset. Maybe Crowley really was upset with him, or worse, angry. Aziraphale sighed and began locking up the shop for the evening when sure enough, he heard the phone ring. He put a hand to his chest, startled by the loud ringing, as the phone had not rung all day and the shop hadn’t been terribly busy. It had been a pretty quiet day otherwise. He walked over to the phone, a little hastily than he should have, and picked up the phone. He put the phone to his ear and paused before quickly speaking into it.

“Many apologies, but we are quite closed for the evening--”

“Aziraphale…”

Aziraphale gripped the phone tightly as he recognized the sound of Crowley’s voice. Silence fell between the two, but only for a moment.

“Crowley…hello.”

“Hey…”

He didn’t sound normal. He still sounded like he did a few days ago when he was leaving Aziraphale’s shop. When he couldn’t look Aziraphale in the eyes…

Aziraphale hated it. It sounded so unfamiliar, and he didn’t like it one bit.

“How have you been?” Aziraphale awkwardly stood there, still holding the phone a little too tightly.

“Uh, I’ve been better I guess.”

“I see. What can I do for you?”

“You sound like a sales clerk.”

There was the awkwardly placed joke. But Aziraphale didn’t feel like laughing.

“Well, this is a bookshop.”

More awkward silence.

“…Can you meet me?”

Aziraphale sighed. “When?”

“Tomorrow afternoon? Bandstand?”

“Yes, Crowley. I’ll meet you.”

“Good. See you then.”

Aziraphale heard a click and a flat dial tone before he could say anything else. He hung the phone back up and continued locking up the shop. He wasn’t sure why Crowley wanted to meet up, but he tried to keep calm and collected. It was much harder than it normally was.

The weather the following day was Crowley’s least favorite. Cold and raining on and off. The only thing he hated more than rain and cold was snow and cold. He could deal with gloomy as long as it wasn’t cold. But due to his cold-blooded nature, cold and wet was a dreadful combination. The weather had been like this for days, with barely any breaks in it at all. Crowley leaned against the bandstand railing, switching between nervously puffing on a cigarette and pulling his scarf back up over his face. He honestly hadn’t a clue what he was going to say to Aziraphale. He groaned aloud before taking another anxious drag.

“So, what am I even supposed to say?” he grumbled aloud to himself. “Hey Aziraphale, sorry I ditched you for three days, but it’s only because I feel the same way…probably more than that…I think? Hey Aziraphale, I was completely devastated when I thought you fucking DIED and left me in a pathetic mess? Ugh! I don’t fucking know!” Crowley finished off his cigarette in a frustrated manner.

Why was this so damn hard? He had known Aziraphale practically forever and knew how he felt towards the angel. He always had known. So why was it so hard to express it, especially when Aziraphale even gave him the perfect opportunity to do so?

“I wonder if he even meant it…” Crowley frowned and pulled his scarf up to his nose. “He was drunk anyway. Even if he did mean it, he’s an angel. He probably didn’t even mean it that _way_!”

The demon sulked, doubting himself, and now truly at a loss for words. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and glanced at the time. He sighed and looked up again, but was nearly startled at the sight of Aziraphale standing in front of the bandstand. He appeared so suddenly; maybe Crowley really wasn’t with it as much as he thought. Aziraphale was dressed in his usual way; he only held a white umbrella in his hand that shaded him from the cold drizzle as he looked across the way; right at Crowley. After a moment or two, Aziraphale continued to approach, soon finding shelter from the rain under the bandstand’s roof. He shook his umbrella out before closing it up and looked at Crowley, eyeing the scarf the demon had bundled himself up in.

“We could have met somewhere indoors, you know.” Aziraphale spoke up.

“Why do we need to do that?”

“You look like you’re freezing.”

“Well I’m fine.”

Aziraphale sighed. “You’re going to get sick, Crowley.”

“Shut up, I said I’m fine.”

Aziraphale shook his head, slightly tilted by Crowley’s persistent stubbornness. But who was he to talk? Aziraphale had that way about him as well; at least when he was set on doing something. The angel brushed it off and looked out at the dreary day. He would have much rather stayed in the bookshop today and just had Crowley over, like normal, but this was what Crowley wanted; even though so far it was just the two of them bickering about Crowley being out in the cold. Aziraphale knew that the calm and logical thing to do would be to ask why Crowley wanted to see him and take it from there. But for some reason, he didn’t and blurted out the one thing that had been on his mind for days.

“Crowley, are you angry with me?”

Crowley blinked from behind his glasses, slightly taken aback by the immediate question. He should have figured Aziraphale would ask eventually but didn’t think it would be so direct. Crowley shifted and tugged on his scarf, still reticent, but decided to just get it all over with.

“No angel. I’m…not angry.” There. That was easy.

“Are you certain? You have been, well, avoiding me for several days.”

Crowley looked at Aziraphale, who was now staring down at his hands with a somber expression, fiddling his fingers anxiously. He didn’t like seeing the angel like this.

“I wasn’t avoiding you,” Crowley responded, attempting to sound nonchalant.

Aziraphale blinked, and he felt something nip at his insides. It wasn’t a good feeling. He tried his best to stay calm.

“Really? Because you left things…between us…unresolved and then you said you would call and didn’t. For three days, Crowley.”

“What? I was busy!”

“Too busy to try and talk about this?”

“No! I mean…I wasn’t avoiding you! I--”

“It’s just like a demon to lie...” Aziraphale muttered.

“Oh!” Crowley scoffed, taken aback. “Okay, I see how it is. You’re going to use that one against me? Cheap shot, Aziraphale.”

Aziraphale didn’t respond. He kept his glare on Crowley but really did regret what he had just said.

“Listen, Crowley! If I was out of line that night, I apologize, I do. But do not sit here and lie to my face! We’ve known each other long enough. You could have just told me so! Why did you just leave and not even phone; acting as if I’m some…some stranger?? Do you realize how worried I was about you?”

Crowley said nothing; he only looked away, staring across the park, but feeling the guilt well up.

Aziraphale only shook his head in disappointment at Crowley’s silence. “No, of course you don’t…”

Aziraphale grabbed his umbrella and swiftly opened it, stepping out into the rain again. He turned and looked back at Crowley, who still hadn’t spoken another word.

“And I’m sorry that I…did what I did that night. It was quite foolish on my end.”

Crowley quickly looked back at Aziraphale, only to see him walking away as the rain began to fall heavily once more. Part of him wanted to just go after him and clear all of this up, but the other half of him simply did not know how to do so.

“Ugh!” Crowley groaned aloud once again, aggravated as ever. He rummaged around his coat pocket for the pack of smokes, only to discover that the pack was empty. He groaned again even louder before slumping against the railing.

It was cold. It was wet. He upset Aziraphale again.

What a shit day.

Crowley leaned his head back on the cold metal, closed his eyes, and sighed. His mind went back to that night. It had been the most fun he’s had in a while, even if he was blitzed out of his mind. It didn’t matter because Aziraphale was there. He put two fingers to his lips, thinking about when Aziraphale pressed his soft lips to Crowley’s. Crowley felt warm just thinking about it. It was almost as if he didn’t get enough last time, and ached for more.

And now he had fucked things up further.

He kept his fingers to his lips, speaking softly to himself.

“No…it wasn’t foolish.”

Aziraphale let out an irritated huff as he entered the shop. It was raining heavily yet again and he and Crowley were in another one of their squabbles. He put the umbrella away after shaking it out and hung his jacket on the coat rack to dry. He decided he wasn’t in the mood to keep the shop open, so he kept the sign turned to closed and locked the door. He put a kettle of hot water on to heat, still feeling a little tilted. Crowley was pretty much the only one that could make Aziraphale feel on top of the world but also knew how to _really_ get under his skin. Aziraphale sighed. It had always been like that. He decided it was best to try and calm down a bit, so he picked out a record from one of his favorite classical composers and continued to prepare his tea.

The afternoon had faded into the late evening, and Aziraphale had spent most of it reading and listening to music. He found it best to deal with things when he had time alone to himself, which he never got much of in Heaven. It was another reason he treasured his life on earth. Sometimes he just needed to be left alone for a while. He was pretty sure without his alone time he’d have been more like his uptight co-workers. He chuckled at the thought. Despite how the day had gone, he was still grateful to be in his bookshop; his safe haven. Not having to answer to anyone lately was a plus too.

He closed a book he was working on and sat back in his chair. It was late, and the rain was still falling hard. He had heard the wind pick up and thunder nearing not too long ago as well. He debated on whether or not to retire to his alcove upstairs, but he was already pretty comfortable where he was. He listened to the heavy rain on the roof mixed with Chopin playing softly on the record player while thinking quietly to himself. Maybe he had been too hard on Crowley earlier. It was true that Crowley had upset him, but Aziraphale began to think that he had come off a little too harsh; especially when he called Crowley a liar.

It really was a cheap shot, wasn’t it?

Aziraphale sighed. Part of him was still a little sore towards the demon, but he was also worried and honestly hoped Crowley was at his flat staying out of the rain and cold and not slinking about the city alone. Aziraphale stood up and placed the book back in its designated spot and decided to head upstairs. As he walked over to the record player to turn it off, a bright flash lit up the sky outside, followed by an intense roll of thunder.

“My, my it’s getting quite terrible out there…” Aziraphale sighed, hoping the storm wouldn’t get much worse. As he went to stop the record and remove the needle, another rumble shook the shop, and something else.

Aziraphale quickly turned to the door, hearing a couple of sharp knocks upon it. Aziraphale cocked his head, wondering if he had heard correctly.

“I’m sorry but we’re quite closed!” he called back.

He had hoped that nobody was really out there in this storm. It was late, and sometimes weirdos would crawl around the city, so he was careful about who he opened the door for. Not because he was afraid of being harmed, but because he simply didn’t want to deal with that sort of thing at this hour. Aziraphale stood for a moment, not hearing anything more, and continued with his tasks.

The knocking had abruptly started once again, but it was faster this time and seemed more like banging than actual knocking. It sounded impatient; frantic almost. Aziraphale let out an irritated sigh, leaving his things where they were.

“Bother…what in the world…?” he muttered as he swiftly crossed the shop and made it to the front door.

He turned the locks and pulled the door ajar ever so slightly while peering out. Lightning blazed across the night sky once more, and Aziraphale stared back at two golden eyes that seemed to glow through the darkness of the night.

Crowley stood there at the door, completely drenched from head to toe.

“Crowley!” Aziraphale didn’t hesitate to quickly throw the door open, shocked to see Crowley standing there in such a state of disarray.

Before Aziraphale could even ask what had happened, Crowley took the liberty of shoving past him and into the shop. He stumbled as his shoes squished about, full of water. He looked a complete mess but gave no explanation as to what was going on. Aziraphale hastily closed the door and locked it up again before turning to Crowley, who was taking a generous swallow from his flask. He twisted the cap back on and stared at Aziraphale, struggling to even stand up straight.

“YOU.” He pointed at the angel before swiftly walking towards him.

“Crowley…”

“No, no. YOU can’t make me feel guilty about…about any of this! I’m not perfect like _you_!” Crowley slurred.

“Good lord, you’re drunk.” Aziraphale flinched at the strong scent of alcohol coming from Crowley.

“Why angel? Whyyy did you have to go and--and ruin it??”

“Come again? Ruin what?” Aziraphale looked at Crowley, trying to understand what was happening.

“Everything was FINE with us you know! And then you had to go and be all fucking nice…with your warm…” Crowley let out an obnoxious hiccup.

“My what...??” Aziraphale was completely lost at this point, and only slightly flustered.

“STOP BEING SO FUCKING NICE.” Crowley stumbled once again, this time nearly tripping over himself.

Aziraphale quickly reached out and grabbed Crowley, preventing him from falling to the floor.

“Crowley, I think you need to lie down and sober up a bit, alright?” Aziraphale spoke gently as he looped Crowley’s arm around his neck and helped him walk to the stairwell.

“Pfft! YOU need to lie down and sober up!” the demon slurred.

Aziraphale sighed and helped Crowley upstairs, making sure he didn’t slip due to his wet shoes. He stood Crowley up as straight as he could manage, with Crowley muttering whatever nonsense under his breath.

“You need to get out of those clothes.”

“No.”

“Crowley, please don’t give me a hard time over this. You are soaking wet and if you don’t do what I say right now,” Aziraphale rubbed his temples, trying to remain as calm and patient as possible. He looked back up at the demon and spoke in a calm, but exceedingly stern tone.

“If you don’t do what I say, you will get as sick as a _fucking _dog; do you understand me, dear boy?”

Crowley blinked, a little shocked that Aziraphale had cursed; and so seriously. It was still something to get used to.

It was also kind of hot…but bad timing.

“Uh…sure, yeah…” Crowley muttered and began peeling the wet clothes off of his body.

“Good. Now I’ll be back in a jiffy. Put your clothes in the corner there. I’ll get them in a moment.”

“Right-oh, captain!” Crowley gave a drunken salute, nearly falling over in the process.

Aziraphale headed back downstairs and to the closet where he kept his clothes. He didn’t own a whole lot and mostly stuck to his favorite articles of clothing. Regardless, the angel rummaged through, trying to find something to give Crowley until he could dry his clothes.

Of course, the night would end up like this.

He continued to look through different garments, in a hurry to get back to Crowley before he did anything reckless in his state. He sighed as he pulled out a plain white v-neck style t-shirt that he didn’t really remember getting. Maybe he used it as an undershirt at one point? He grabbed another garment from the back of the closet that he had forgotten about; an olive-green button-down cardigan. He had gotten it as a gift at some point, but never wore it. It was a fine cardigan but he didn’t quite care for the color. He also didn’t wear cardigans often.

He wasn’t sure what to bring Crowley for bottoms, as he didn’t have anything that would fit those skinny hips of his. Aziraphale decided to look upstairs and see if he could find anything. He quickly grabbed a pair of wool socks from the Chester drawers and closed the closet door. He hastily made his way back up the stairs as the stormed raged outside. Crowley was still there, thankfully, sitting on the sofa and bundled up in the fleece blanket. Their eyes quickly locked as Aziraphale approached him.

“I wasn’t able to find any trousers that would fit you, but I can keep looking.”

“Don’t...need to. Pants are fine…” Crowley slurred and pointed to his underwear, struggling to sit up straight.

“Alright, stand up now.”

Crowley stood up and dropped the blanket he was wrapped in, wearing nothing at all but his snug black boxer briefs. Aziraphale briefly felt his face go warm at the sight of Crowley being practically naked in front of him, but quickly shook the feeling. It was not the time or place for those thoughts. Crowley struggled to stand and swayed a bit, inebriated as ever. Aziraphale slid the t-shirt over his head. It was big on Crowley; baggy and falling half-way down his thighs.

“I’m sorry. It’s rather big on you…”

“Isss’ fine…comfy.”

“Okay, sit.”

Crowley plopped back onto the sofa a little too harshly, and Aziraphale placed a small towel atop Crowley’s red locks, drying his hair and shaking out the water best he could. Crowley had drunkenly argued that he could do that himself, but Aziraphale wouldn’t have any of that, so Crowley just silently let him dry his hair. Aziraphale had also pulled the wool socks over Crowley’s feet after Crowley turned down the offer.

“I don’t like these. Itchy.”

“That’s too bad; you need to stay warm.”

“Fine…” Crowley grumbled before feeling something warm drape over him his shoulders. He looked up at Aziraphale, who had loosely draped the cardigan over Crowley’s shoulders like a blanket. Aziraphale knelt down to eye level, looking at Crowley with tender eyes, but a seriousness in his face. He gently put a hand to Crowley’s forehead, and Crowley felt that same warmth flood his body once again. He wasn’t sure what it was when Aziraphale had touched him, but it was so good.

He missed this. Feeling Aziraphale’s warmth again was practically a relief.

“You’re burning up you know.” Aziraphale sighed. “You know you can’t be sulking about in this weather.”

“Yeah yeah…okay.” Crowley rolled his eyes and hiccupped.

Aziraphale only shook his head. “Alright, lay down.”

Crowley didn’t hesitate to lay back; he was drunk, exhausted, and sick. Today sucked big time and all he wanted to do was sleep. Aziraphale pulled the fleece blanket over Crowley.

“You need to stay warm now, alright?”

“Whatever…” Crowley sighed.

“Crowley.”

“Yes, okay! I’ll stay warm. Shit…”

“You should really sober up. I would try doing it yourself this time. Unless you want another hangover?”

“Got it.” Crowley slurred.

“I’ll be back later with something hot to drink and a remedy for the fever if it doesn’t subside.” Aziraphale made his way back down the steps as the rain kept falling heavily outside.

“Nothing gross!” Crowley called out before hiccupping again. He pulled the blanket up to his nose, feeling his eyelids already get heavy. “Nothing gross…”

The demon trailed off and fell asleep, with Aziraphale’s warmth still lingering on his skin.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ((UPDATE)) Apologies to everyone enjoying the story, but I am putting it on hiatus for the time being. My friend made an ending in the actual comic if you would like to view it on her Patreon or Tapas. I just have to take a break for personal reasons. Thank you again for reading. <3
> 
> First and foremost: Juju and I just want to thank all of you (here and on Twitter) for the very positive response and love shown towards our story/comic. We are having a blast working on it! 
> 
> Juju and I agreed that our favorite part of this chapter was Crowley being an over the top drama queen, but hey, we all have our days (bad habits) right? 
> 
> If you haven't already, please be sure to check out the comic version found here: 
> 
> [Four Letter Words Comic](https://tapas.io/episode/1502537)
> 
> Juju is still drawing part two, so be a little patient. It'll be up soon! Thank you again! <3

**Author's Note:**

> First in foremost! There is a comic version of this story. The artwork is by a wonderfully talented friend of mine. Feel free to check it out: 
> 
> [Four Letter Words Comic](https://tapas.io/episode/1502537)
> 
> I will honestly say that this series has literally taken over my life. It has cured my depression, I'm not even joking haha. Good Omens inspired me not only to write again after so long but also reconnect with a close friend I hadn't spoken to in a while. Bad Juju (formally Psychoon) and I decided to write a story for fun, and we are definitely fun with this one. It's shamelessly fluffy, because who doesn't like some angel-demon fluff? I had so much fun writing the pedal boat scene that I may do a side story one of these days where they actually go on a pedal boat outing...against Crowley's free will of course! Haha!
> 
> Anyway, I hope you enjoy the story, and remember, there is a comic companion with beautiful artwork! Just go to the link I posted above.


End file.
